I'm Having Chicken Tonight

This last weekend wasn't a good one by my standards without a doubt. It was a weekend that saw me stay in bed most of the day like an old LA bum on crack and a craving for half a bottle of duty-free russian smirnoff. By the end of my lazy weekend I, felt shortchanged and cheated by the passing summertime as it made way for chilly Autumn where the parks were once again empty and the young women who run there no longer show off they're perfectly carved legs underneath the thongs they call shorts. In the 2 days that i've been in bed with a tummy ache and throbbing headache, summer had ended and Autumn while arrived. I looked around me with utter astonishment and shook my head in disbelief that a weekend in bed could last an entire summer time.

My weekend fiasco started when I went for dinner on Fri nite at Nandos. I had heard stories from Mom that Nandos was the only fast food joint here that did legit halal food. That or the new krosher place down the road where everybody would be saying "Shalom" to you the minute you walked in. Nandos would be a better pick, by default. Its been a while since I went out for a good meal at a fast food joint, and Nandos being South African had a reputation of serving fine chicken breast, at a wholemeal price. I was thrilled as i walked through the french doors at the restaurant's entrance. The place looked calm but fresh as the low intense lighting that reflected off the unevenly decored walls made me think of nothing except the tender flesh of chicken meat and how much i wanted them that nite. Even the cleavage bearing blondes at the table on the right couldn't get my mind off chicken that nite. By god i'll have chicken if its the last thing i do this evening.

Entering the place, I quickly scanned around for a sombre but lucid corner of the restaurant to be seated at. Far across the room, at the corner end of the mess my eyes caught a low illuminatedly lighted table that was far enough from the other dinners to savour some eating privacy but close enough for me to wave my orders through to the waiters standing around with a rather large looking menu booklet. As i made my way through the restaurant's thick carpets to table at the far end of the room, i couldn't help noticing the 3 pretty blondes sitting at the table next to the entrance. One of them wore a rather low cut top that had her bare nips erected through the thin top, making it really obvious for the other dinners to enjoy notice. I smiled as I walked past her, trying to avert my sights on the dish she was offering. I came here for chicken, and chicken is all i'm having eh.

"Friday nite is the nite, keep your frequency clear" blurred the song from the radio as I kept my head in place and sat my bum down to order. I drew my right hand up and made a circular motion to the fit waitress to order. The waitress smiled back, and made her way towards me with a menu in her hands. From this distance, the blonde petite looking waitress in her short minis with black stockings looked like kylie minougue in one of her music videos. The waitress had long but kept blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. The type of notty good looks that you normally see in swedish p0rn flicks, having some outdoor action with Bjorn and Inga behind the barn.

"Good day sir, may I take you order please?" asked the shy waitress with a warm smile.

"I'll have your tastiest chicken with some southern gravy .. like they do in lousiana. Make that with fries, honey." I spoke out like a hungry vegan.

"I'm sorry sir, but we only do chicken, south african style here ... if you want lousiana chicken you need to go to Southern Flame .. just up the road from here." she frantically pointed out.

"Heck just gimme some quater chicken and some chips then" I said in a desperate attempt to convince her I wasn't flirting crazy.

"Coming right up in 10 minutes sir" she said with a smile before disappearing back into the kitchen leaving behind a trail of sweet scents that my nostrils immediately pick up on. Lovely girl, smells nice too. Sweet. Whaddaa.

10 mins later my order arrived and i instantly started on the fleshy white chicken, washing it down with diet coke every now and then. I couldn't remember legit chicken ever tasting that good. Now I don't know what it is about this chicken, but the minute I downed its breasts in a tight bun, my stomach began its uneasiness. It wasn't a normal tummy ache, but I felt really queasy and uneasy, sort of like being in a car up cameron highlands. Real motion sickness of that proportion. Initially I thought it was food poisining, i hadn't shown the normal symptoms. I finished my food and called for kylie to the bill. Like a model on a catwalk for fresh lingerie, kylie walks the walk in her short minis and black stockings over to me with the bill. I paid miss 'Locomotion' and left for home with a sick chicken in my tummy, and a weekend in bed. Hope you had a better weekend.