Tuesday, October 04, 2005

A Woman's Magazine


For as long as time could tell, women have been known to be more observant, understanding and more compliant to their own environments. They cooked food to address their family's hunger, cleaned to protect their family's health and groomed themselves to attract their male counterparts and to address the reproductivity of the human kind. If it was not for the intuitivity of women and issues they observe, address and eventually resolve, mankind would not have progressed at the pace it had done for the last 3000 years. Thank god for women.

Now in the age of the new millennium, changes in lifestyles and society evolve at a more rapid pace than it had ever before. What we had yesterday is no longer good today. The vicous cycle of life is so short-spanned that even Ken & Barbie are now dead. Like the expiry date on a milk box, things around us go out of date faster now than it had from the years before. This is due to a competitive lifestyle that dictates supply and demand in almost every conceivable trait around us. Our clothes fashion changes every season. The cars we drive, become out of date when manufacturers churn out a new model every year. Even our feelings and emotions changes when we meet new people, new circumstances and new challenges in our modern strive to stay alive. Living in these modern times is not a joke. It requires strength, stamina, intelligence and cut-throat survival insticts to prey or be preyed. These are the realities of today folks.

The one thing that has stood the test of time, is a woman's intuition to adapt themselves better (than men), in every wave of change that is endured. Women folk now are more observant and flexible to heed environmental requirements. They are quick to understand the fast changing needs of their environment and aggressive to adapt to the changes in a particular degree of change. Women now respond faster than ever before and more aggresive to protect and be protected. Like a prey bird with a nose for its victims, they move in for the kill then the victim least expects it. We've all seen it happen when partners are caught with a new gf ... the birds of prey circle from afar to observe, before swooping in for the kill ... either a punch-up with mistress x or to serve divorce papers to take him to the cleaners. Its becoming a too common of as sight, i fear.

Women magazines have been adamant in bringing forward these issues to help women folk better prepare themselves for millennium challenges. Saying this, i had recently found some very memorable highlights on Elaine's blog, that proved just this. Not known to Elaine, I also found the answers to the questions posed on a remote website. Here are the questions from Elaine's blog and the answers from the remote blog.

1. 10 ways to find your dream man.
Use internet chat, cupid date agency, random tel calls until male picks up phone, get sista' to fix with her friend's cousin, go out bra-less with 1 nipp showing, step in a club with 100:3 boy:girl ratio, go to paris, work as a stripper in vegas, sleep with a blabbermouth who appreciates ur bum and work him till morning, hangout at weddings dressed in tight see-through kebaya with blue contacts and flirt with every man > 50 yo who started the conversation with you with "I think I know ur daddy" but tries feeling u up ur dress when he gets close enuf. I would be very surprised if these steps don't pull u a hot-blooded man to keep ur bed warm tonite. Do let me know if u succeed ay.

2. How to please your man in bed.
Ask him if he'd like to do it outside, in kitchen, on sofa in living room, in shopping mall toilets, in car at shopping mall car park, on train, in office after hours. If this doesn't put a smile on his face, then maybe inviting to bed, ur hot blonde cherry-nippled 20 yo office temp will. And she can prove it that shes a natural blonde.

3. Dress to impress the man you want.
To stun ur man, wear a g-string bikini thats 3 sizes too small to the pool with him. Make sure bikini top slips exposing nipple every 3 mins at the pool. Creep into mens locker and shower with him, while other guys fill with envy. Nothing like voyuerism to get the engines running. Prepare for some p0rn star action at home later.

4. Drive him wild.
Dress like a GH nurse with no knickers underneath. After hot session, go out to mamak stall in attire and cross-leg sharon-stone style to engrossed male admirers, while flashing some. When u start getting whistles, lean over ur man n affectionately throw him seductive kisses. At home set up camcorder to record live action when ur man does the wild thing. View this video everytime u need to get high.

5. What Men Crave Most in Bed
Bring a busty divorced friend home to ur man n tell him its his b'day gift. Make sure all parties agree before persuading friend to participate. Be sure to approach friend that has been divorced for sometime n am dying for action. Before asking, have girlie talks about how they have not been getting it and wouldn't mind getting down with u for a laugh. At home blindfold the man and let friend have 1st go. If successfull, make it a regular session. swingers have fun eh?

6. Little Signs That Show He's Committed.
He lets u have intimate flings with ur tennis instructor, neighbour, french teacher, sister's bf .... any male u oogle. or he comes home with a monster vibrating dual head as a b'day present for u. He obviously loves you.

7. Confessions of a Love Snoop -- the cheeky things you do to keep tabs on him
Get gorgeous best friend, who was an ex-stewardess but got fired for acting in a homemade video with a steward, to take a nude bath with ur man. He'll definately tell her some dirty little secret that she has not told u.
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