Does Love have a Name? - Part 1

Like a mocking bird chirping away in the morning wee hours, my feet started moving as i broke out in cold sweat. turning and tossing myself on my seally queen bed, i barely caught a glimpse of the alarm clock on the table just next to the bed. The digital display in red showed 4am. I couldn't believe myself waking up this early. As i sat upright, thoughts of which day this was, came gushing through almost scaring me off my bed. It was raya morning and the year was 1999. I had mysteriously woken up early on raya morning almost by chance, not knowing that destiny was at play and that it would soon reveal itself to me in the most shocking n horrific way it often does. I had no idea of what was in store for me that sunny raya day in 1999.

Clearing my head from last nites dream, i made my way across the room to the washroom taking off my boxers as i walked but avoiding the bedroom window as i didn't think the neighbours would appreciate a view of a stark naked man strudding his python stuff through the curtainless window this early. Although i caught the 40something executive wife peering at my bedroom window a couple of times from her lawn, she wasn't food for thought at all. Looks too much like my former science teacher at VI. Not the kind of food a 20something dude would like to think about for now. She does however greet me with a smile everytime we meet. But it was 4 am on raya morning and i doubt that anyone would be awake now. In the full monty i strolled to the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower, casually passing the curtainless window facing the neighbour's bedroom.

Like a scripted drama episode, the phone coincidently rang as i strudded out form the shower. dripping wet, i raced out of the washroom to the phone by the bed almost expecting a call this early on raya.

"Hello .. fade here. who dat?" i sparringly spoke

My parents wouldn't have called me this early. They would hve known better to call this early. I was sure it wasn't them although the 8 hour time difference meant that they were already wide awake. I listend eagerly on the phone for a responce .. then...

"Hi fade. Do you know who this is?" was the answer on the other end of the line.

Hearing that voice had me momentarily paralyzed in disbelief. It was her. After 6 months walking out on me, she calls me on raya morning to say hi. The seperation with her 6 month before was extremely difficult for me, being a sensitive male of the 90s and all. I thought that i'd be able to take it with a smile, but instead i wept like a child n crept myself to sleep with thoughts of her. She was everything to me then, as i was to her. Our dreams had once came together like most lovers' do, and with it built our hopes n planned our future together. But when her big boss, the 'Datuk' expressed his feelings for her and promised to make her his world, she was dazzled by the 2 million dollar apartment, the boxter gift and the million dollar jewelry, compliments of the 'Datuk'. It really was an out of the world relationship. Overnite, this woman whom i thought was my queen was showered by gifts enuf to feed a small country for a year. It rocked her world, but tore us apart.

The 'Datuk' knew of our relationship, but was adamant that he'd have his ways with her. After all i was merely a common joe just starting his working life with a free spirit and a love for jane. within a week she had sold of her wira and drove around in a 96 boxter that the 'Datuk' gave her as a promotion gift for her excellent work in the office. When she came home bare-bushed knickerless under her office minis, i realized that he was probably also doing her in the office. Hence the excellent achievement office award. She always was an excellent blower i thought. Use of the 'Datuk's' lavish bangsar condo was a no-strings attached gift from 'Datuk' she told me once.

Good thing i made it a point to hear her scream my name a couple of times in the bangsar condo. She told me she loved me, but appreciated the money and treatment that came with the 'Datuk'. She would pester me to allow her to have dinner with the 'Datuk' on certain nites, for which i would agree due to the love n trust we had. So i thought. Sometimes 'Datuk' would send her home at 3am .... and sometimes the next morning. But being a man still in love, i would swallow my heart n let him share the love of my life on his nites, where she would scream his name instead of mine on the nite.

Then, one afternoon the office phone rang. It was the 'Datuk'. He had called to say that he wanted to meet me for lunch. Hard as it may have seemed, I agreed to it. What could have been harder than 'satisfying' my queen at nites, but knowing that somebody else 'taken' her the nite before. She smelled of his parfume all over her bare body, especially around her volupcious breasts and bikini area. But in the name of love I was forced to accept all this.

So having lunch with the 'Datuk' was relatively easier to agree to. His chauffer picked me up at my office that afternoon and brought me to his golf club in bukit kiara. I saw the 'Datuk' sitting alone at the lobby smiling and waving to me to approach him. We shook and i immediately recognized the cologne what was so familiar all over my sweeties smooth but toned bare bum. I forced a smile as we were seated for lunch. He looked at me and smiled almost feeling the lusty statisfaction that i felt from running my hands all over her naked body, before my pelvic started the thrusting motion that always ended with her lips meeting mine while she clung on to my unclothed body with her legs wrapped around my bum.

"As you know, I am a very wealthy man. But my wealth and position in society fairs to absolutely nothing without the company of the one i love." he spoke, sort of like he was speaking in a general assembly or something. I nodded and was sure he wasn't referring to his wife when he said about the one he loves. i smiled n ushered for him to continue talking.

"Your queen and I have become very close over the last couple of months and we wish to take it to the next level if possible. I have spoken to her about this and she agrees with me on this." he continued.

Agrees with him? well she didn't say anything about agreeing with anybody when she was screaming my name as our naked pelvis locked in motion last nite.

"Let me cut to the chase ok" he suddenly interjected.

"I will give you RM50,000 to let her go so she could be with me with no convictions. For that amount, you would need to break it off with her and make her hate you so that the break off would be easier" said the 'Datuk'.

My head pounded insanely while my eyes went blur to the request. My mind forced me to say yes to the rm50k, but my heart was begging me to hold on to love, honesty, purity and all things in the world thats sincere and good. Acting on my heart's content, as i have always done before, I shook my head and pushed the 'Datuk's' checkbook aside.

"My love for this woman comes from the heart and can never be measured by any checkbook or money in your bank. It is pure and unconvicted, like the many things in my life that unstained by a filthy bank account and a guilty consience. I realise that my relationship with her is coming to an inevitable end, but I will only bow to my destiny with honour and pride. I had enuf with all this and was leaving her very soon anyways. Thank you for the offer but no thank you. Could you pls send me home?" saying all this with an honest emotional conviction of a lover that would rather hang than betray the love for his lady.

The 'Datuk' nodded and shook my hand sort of a sign of admiration for what i had just said to him. He later told me that he has nothing but good intentions for me and my queeen and that if i ever needed anything from him, all i would have to do was call. he even gave me his private number but i threw it away. He then signalled to his driver to send me home. That was the last i had seen of the 'Datuk', although he is always in the news on tv.

I went to her place that nite and had a stamina intensive 3 hour pelvic grinding marathon on the sofa, kitchen n balcony. We didn't speak about the 'Datuk' at all that nite. We just cuddled n embraced each other in pure nudity, almost feeling that warmth from our naked flesh and the aroma that it brought us, on that final nite we were together. We had a long chat the next day and we both decided on a trial seperation to see if things could work out the other way. I said goodbye and didn't see or hear from her untill that 4am raya mornig call.

I was gutted and had to marginalize my way of life when she left. I hated her, but yet loved her at the same time. I wanted her gone but yet wanted her kissing my mouth and rubbing me numb at the same time. Do you think that love had a name?