The Musical Chair

The stigma of having a successful relationship is but a taboo, i think. Its the degree of damage a relationship brings, is what we should be concerned about. In my many years of 'lending my ears' to friends in dire need of someone to talk to, I came to realize that the notion of a successful relationship nothing but a myth. I can however tell you from experience, that merits in relationships are often earned in the bedroom on how good ur performance was n how well ur partner rates u based on the level of illicitness, sadisfaction n emotional affection brought about by ur circus show. I hear ron jeremy is visiting kl this week. Once this rating falls, usually due to the absolute fatigue of the mind or body, boredom with eating rice everyday or getting it from someplace else, so does ur platonic relationship, I've noticed. Below r some attitudes that ur partner will choose to display as the room becomes darker n nitetime falls onto ur relationship.

1. Starts coming home late, with winges like "I work like a dog .... to support u, and this is how u repay me". Partner and new lover are sh*gging like rabbits while u wait at home with todays dinner cooked. When this happens, theres little else u can do to fix it. New lover might be comming on 20 with really tight buns that u can't seem to compete with. Its often helpfull to observe these changes early on in relationship n leave the deal as soon as u can, rather than hanging on to fight the inavitable against an enemy half ur age.

2. Partner changes the clothes they normally wear to a more sharper dress sense, this is usually required when courting a new sh@g. The undergarments are also laced with sexy g-strings and funny looking thongs from a p0rn order catalog. U can definitely bet that something fishys going on. When asked, partner says its from mid life crisis, but the only crisis thats really going on is partner's promiscuous indefidality. Good to be sharper when partner dresses sharp.

3. In bed, partner suddenly throws a new move like a 'scissors-cut' penetration while lying on the sides and suggests that u explore ur sexuality with strangers or the usually pri-conscious partner feels exited about taking sex outside or with a stranger in the park. This is definitely a critical sign that ur partner is sh*gging someone else on the side, and feeling sexually aroused just thinking about it. Which is why u observe partner to be more sexually charged in bed than usuall. Pack ur bags, but be sure to enjoy the ride one last time before u go.

4. Ur partner sits u down on a chair and with a serious yet pitiful face starts the conversation with "As u know, all good things come to an end ......" or "U know how much I love u, but ....". Start packing ur bags .....ops and don't forget the last sh*g for old times sakes ...one for the road.

5. U get weird phones calls at late hours of the nite or odd times during the day .. especially when ur not around. Also, the most 'recent calls' on partners mobile are getting erased on a frequent basis. Check ur phone bills .. and if u see the pattern, call to justify and then u can start packing ..... I once ended a relationship due to this. Caught her calling her ex-bf, one for the road baby .... well I had 2 actually, consequently ... fondest memories of her, those were.

6. You notice partner suddenly having the interest and urge to spend long countless hours tapping away in front of the computer and minimizing the screen when ur around. When this happens, be sure to check the website history to see the places that partner has surfed to. If you see sites like matchmaker.com or adultmatchmaker.com on the list, then u can be sure that some cybersex is going on, where there are virtual penetrations and digital ejeculations going on. When this happens you know that the time has come for you to delete your partner's files permanently.

7. While browsing for DVDs at the nearby pasar malam, you get approached by the ah wong ah beng touykeh lincai saying "Mau bagus punya DVD? panas punya? Ini accountant yg terlampau punya tau.". Despite declining with numerous arguments bearing moral responsibilities n religious justifications, your animalsm takes over and u end up buying the DVDs. Also contributing to the purchase is the fact that partner is also an accountant besides a stallion in the sack. Switching the DVD on that nite, u r suprised u see ur very own accountant partner illicitly starring as main actor cum director cum producer that cums. Doing at east 50 people in a wicked series of orgies recorded using a hidden camera that u bought partner as a raya gift. whats more, theres even erotic shots of u in ur own bedroom with partner that u vaguely remembered saying no to, but got persuaded to do poses for by partner with promises that it would be destroyed later. But it never did. Only thing that was destroyed is ur dignity, trust, faith in partner and the whole relationship thing.

So if you do value ur relationship and want to see it grow into the next level. A bit of snooping around to find out what ur partner is up to is always a wise thing to do. After all, you wouldn't want to be the one left standing without a chair when the music stops playing now would u?