Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Cuti-Cuti Malaysia


As i grill through my hectic work days of pure boredom and monotonous routines, my mind was somewhat distracted by a webadvert i saw on cheap flight tickets to asia. I was immediately captivated by how cheap the tickets were and how much fun i'd have on another trip to KL. Its been 5 months since i'd been back and a sweet holiday out in the sun would definately get the veins pumping again and my life with something good to work for. It had been years since i last worked in KL, but thoughts of how it was to have worked there was still fresh on my mind. The thing that i remembered most i guess were the holiday breaks. Back then, i would take short escapade breaks out to PD or cherating to quench boredom whenever it kicked in. I guess working in the consultancy business then allowed me to work from remote locations, including in a wicked hotel room that faces the pool on a deserted beach in tregganu in the middle of the week where the cook and recept would know me by name and offer personalised services to cater. As long as i had a phone socket, much of my work then needed to just be emailed across to the other managers, who probably were themselves on another beach somewhere seeing some action i reckon.

As i thought about how my life would improve with a wicked holiday in KL this Dec, my fingers picked up the phone and started dialing daphne's number. Daphnes a sweet 29 yo m'sian chick who works for a travel agentcy in town. Shes been here 5 years and lives in with her mat salleh bf. I think she likes it here, but i constantly tease her to go home and marry a PJ boy instead. She just smiles and tells me to get lost. The first time i met her was about 2 years ago when i went to her office to get my tickets for a KL trip. We started talking after she introduced herself as a m'sian and now the whole family uses her for all our tickets home. Always nicer to deal with ur fellow m'sians eh? She gives us the best price in town and is also flexible on shifting flight schedules. We love you daphne.

I hoovered the phone to my ear and held it up with my shoulder to my neck as soon as my fingers finished dialling. The phone went into a ringing tone before it did a click when i heard the voice on the other end of the line say "Hello daphne here".

"Hi ya.... its me. How have you been? whats ticket prices like in early Dec to KL with stopovers in Jakarta?" i asked in a hurried fashion. In the office, i usually cut small talk.

"Its $1400 but you'd have to be quick. Tickets would gone soon this time of year." she said.

I thanked her and said that i'd call to confirm as soon as i got my leave cleared. "Bye now .. and say hi to Charles for me will you" i said before i put down the phone. Slumping on my chair and thinking of sweet KL booties already, i quickly sum up the benefits of a trip to KL in dec. Boooya!

1. Raiding KLCC for cheap ISETAN clothes, dockers pants and aseana's daging rendang with ais aseana drinks. Smoke sessions at the asena are also a wicked way to chill out while having teh tarik. I can't wait.

2. Taking out a beach front villa in cherating and spending 3 solid days out on the beach and pool, having lunch at the hotel and seafood dinner out in the nelayan village for a meal of ur life. Definately the highlight of my trip home.

3. Called a good mate today who works in Bangkok for Halliburton. Told him i'm coming over for 3 days. Hope his thai gf doesn't mind me bungking over, i promise i'll be good and not walk around nude in the flat. Also would be great to be able to make use of his driver to get me to places. Nothing like bangkok traffic jams.

4. Did i say i was also doing jakarta and bali on transit for a couple of days?

This'll definately start my new year with a bang. Boooya!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Today in News


FRANCE, Over the last couple of days, all the major newspapers were talking about how Lance Armstrong had won yet another tour de France competition on the Alps. This half man half machine had been able to win at least 3 consecutive races within the span of a couple of years i understand. Hes so popular that french chicks take their top off when he bikes passes them and grown men even have his pin-up poster on their walls next their playmate calendar. Hes an icon, an idol and an i-want-to-be, especially this time of year.

Armstrong's stamina, strength and determination have inspired hundreds of athletes around the world to strive to achieve success and make a mark in the world of sports, much like he did. But a team of sports scientists began studying Armstrong and found his heart to be 30% larger than the average male of his body mass. His heart was said to be of the size of a male of 7 feet in height and that it produced 23% more energy pumping at the same rate that ones in other normal humans. Goes to say that his heart untrained, had the same burn rate as one that had been training for 12 years. Just think of what it can do when its fully trained. I wonder if the same scientists could study my slightly larger body parts?

LONDON, in a chaotic frenzy after discovering 3 new bombs on public transport in the city, cops shot a brazillian dude 5 times in the head at close range simply for failing to stop when they told him to. News reports said cops pinned him down and shot him through the head 5 times after he ran when they told him to stop. There was however no reports that the brazilian was a terrorist or that they found traces of explosives in his gear.

Heck for all you know he could have been just an ordinary tourist who ran when someone pointed a gun and shouted at him. Since when do cops out there carry out a death sentence when told to stop? I hated the city enough, now with cops running around and passing out death sentences by shooting through the head 5 times, i'm definitely banning myself from ever stepping foot there. Barbarians.

I didn't get the rental place in the bush i was talking about last week. Called a day after seeing the place with the owner and was told that it went to someone else. Bullocks. And it even had a tree house and a jacuzzi in the bathroom. What a downer. Today at 3, i'm seeing a place thats about 500m from the beach and looks like a hollywood house from the outside.

Its going for $380 p.w. and is about 5 mins further from where i currently live. If i like it, i'm talking the price down to $350 before i put the money where the honey is.

Monday, July 18, 2005

My Day was *##$$**?


Yesterday had been a long day at work. I had been keeping busy with uncharted work while balancing my social pledges to the 2 different political sides gunning to win the favourite player of the year company popularity title. While all this was happening the loud m'sian fresh grad sitting opposite me is giving me a headache i can do without, with his loud piercing shreik like voice saying all these english words in an asian slang while trying to act smart talking about his work. Wish i could stuff my sock in his socket. Hes definately got singapore blood in him..

AT about 4, i turned my desktop off and raced for the door avoiding the meeting room where all the managers were in talking like retired politicians. I never cared for such passiveness. Passing through like a cat burglar, i made a bee line to the front doors and dashed to the car for a meeting with the property agent. My ride took me deep into the pine wood forest to the place i was looking at for renting. Arriving at the front gates, i notice the front road leading to the house was a rather small forest like tar'd single lane path surrounded by thick pine trees. Going through the front gates, the house looked solid with a front yard thats covered with trees on all sides. Its definately a character home in the bush. Its got 3 rooms, a back yard big enuf for a swimming pool that the neighbours have plus its got a basement room with a tiny rumpus room all with its own toilets and shower. I immediately liked and wanted it. Gee weez.

This morning i called the agent and faxed the right docs and stuff and hopefully can get to pay for it this evening. I'm paying 3 weeks rent with no fixed term contract for sub-letting. Meanwhile in the office, i'm getting a political bullocking by PM when my build script pulls in a different version of the SDK release last fri. And hes going around telling the test engineer "Oh its not ur fault" .. like yeah great work test engineers, for discovering that the SDKs were a version different this morning when i sent out an email on it specifying the SDK version numbers, last fri after the build. Yeah right on its not ur fault. Bullocks! Then he tells the SDK engineer "And its not ur fault either" .. sugguesting that it was mine. You see the SDK engineer should not have crated another SDK in that CVS branch without notifying anyone (especially me). So its my fault for creating this build then sending out mail on it and its SDK version last fri, that they kept mum about till today. Cheapskaters. And when i pounded him with my reasons for why it wasn't my fault, he jokingly showed me his firearms liecence. See if i care.

But i can't be bothered, hes not my boss and i'm too engrossed with the house i saw yesterday to wank over what hes not happy with. 5 reasons to be happy today :-

1. Thank god i sold my house and can leave this job on a moments notice whenever i feel like it. All this without having to get a new job before leaving. If i'm really pissed, i can even leave this country without much hassle and minimal down time.

2. The new house looks like a cottage in the bush that i used to think that only rich people lived in. Funny how i can afford it now that its standard rent they're asking. The neighbour has a swimming pool in their back yard, could mean pool parties and bikini chicks.

3. Went for lunch with office mate and discovered that hes also thinking of leaving soon but would need to find a suitable other job first before jumping, which he plans to do ASAP. We talked about office politics and decided on whos who on the political landscape that was to be avoided in normal office dealings.

4. Govt finally produced a list of AP holders in m'sia and most of them were the big shot datuks multi-billionaire type with 10 million dollar bungalow houses in DH. So finally i get to understand where they get their riches from. Is wealth meant to be spread like butter? Its definately a regulatory issue when no-one checks how too rich these people were getting, when the APs should have been transferred to someone else and not just MITI officers, politicians, relatives businessmen.

5. I'm alive and healthy.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Things to do over the weekend


Its been a while since i had the time to utterly write on this site. Things have been going real fast over the last couple of weeks and i've been dogging it since. But the weekend was cold one, usually i'd be curled up in a thick duvet watching reruns of i love lucy. Sad as it may seem, i reckon its the best way to spend a cold freezy weekend avoiding frost bites. But this weekend was a bit different. The all blacks had beaten the Lions 3 straight games in a row and Tana Umaga displayed such brilliant skills, so inspiring that i almost headed down for a game at the local club. But nah .. i didn't need any broken bones this week. Thoughts of what i should do this weekend came to mind.

1. Solve world energy crisis so that everyone gets cheap energy to live on. No more dependency on petrol.

2. Form movement to rid the world of bloodsucking oil companies that rape the land and exploit its people to post a 50% profit while handing out bonuses to its senior management.

3. Go out to the local singles bar and come home with a curvy blonde name ingrid , with standup peckers and a brazillian wax job, who'll stay the week in my bed with her clothes on the floor.

4. Go house hunting again for a place to live. Did i tell you that i just sold my house after just 4 months for 12g more? I just found a brilliant place to rent in the bush. Its on a lonely balik-pulau type of road deep in the jungle. It has 3 rooms and all of them face the thick pine forest. Its like living in a remote cottage, the tyope you see on tv. Am seeing the agent today.

5. Visit parents and listen to them grumble about my way of life and my values. I'd usually have a smoke before i go see them ... and 1 after. Keeps my head straight i always think.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

A Dawghouse in the Dumps


It was a restless Saturday nite back in 93 and my juices were pumping at max speed that nite telling me to do something notty. With promiscuity first on the list, I called gf, but was told that she was too tired to 'ride' that nite, after 3 consecutiove days just 'riding'. Soreness was her excuse. I was cool with that. I had already done the clubs last week and was bored to my guts with the Physics and Further Mechanics classes i had attended that same morning. Needed to getaway and to taste the ocean even if it was only for a couple of hours. The weekend had just arrived and JPA had just deposited the monthly allowences that day. Without much thought i decided on a road trip to PD pronto. I had the car, the crew and dosh. All i needed was some drunk party college girls willing take their top off for some free drinks and this party was sorted. But unfortunately it was too late in the night and all the desperate crazy chicks i knew were already in bed. Probably with dudes they picked up at the singles bar in KL. My roomates would do i thought.

Like a clown in a circus, I went center stage and announced my plans to do a road trip to PD that nite and offered my roomates the golden oppertunity to ride the wind with me and be wild for just this nite. They were easily persuaded to go when i told them how easy PD chicks were and how they skinny dipped on clear moonlight. We stocked up some chicken to BBQ that nite and drove off in a convoy of about 3 cars. My car in front, we pulled out from the college gates while waving goodbye to our sorry ass friends who would be staying up half the nite studying Mechanics in their rooms. Wohooo! PD here i come.

After about 2 blocks down the road, i felt my peddle become numb and my car stand to a halt. The other 2 cars behind me pulled up behind me as everyone got down to ask me what went wrong. "I dunnow, it just died on me" i shot back. We all got down while i popped the hood to take a look at the engine. Hoping to id the problem and fix it so that we could again be on our way to sweet PD. But that just didn't happen. After about 30mins looking under the hood lighted only by street lamps, we sort of felt that PD was not going to happen.

Of all the wankers i had to meet that nite, it had to be 2 dirty cops looking for street hookers and drugged up pimps in the sek 8 area to pau. Aku + krew were minding our own business working on the car when these 2 dirty cops pulled up and started asking us what we were doing. Not knowing we were local students, one of them became really abusive and out of control when we told them that our marshall car aka turbo charge rosak and mechanic F1 dok tengah repair. The basturd couldn't shut up and kept on going about how we it was against the law to have a broken down eagle car parked on a public street. He must think we enjoy sitting out at 1am with marinated chickens in the bonet working on a car with the hood opened in dim street light. So as a true member of keadilan, i called him bapak anjing and spat on him. The dirty cop was so scared, when he noticed that my balls were the size of his car and proceeded to call for back up and in notime at all .. some plain clothed cops pulled up in non-marked cars ready to take on little ol me. Standing there like a true member of keadilan .. i gathered the courage that DSAI had taught us to have and stood my ground. When they asked us where we lived, one of us pointed to the lighted room just 500 meters from where we stood. Realizing we were students, the became less of a dickhead and took us to the local balai to scare us.

At the balai, i was ready again to spring into action by taking out the 5 cops at the front desk and arming myself with their automatics, but my friends held me down and told me that it wasn't worth it. I was told to apologise so that we could be on our way. I looked at the dirty dawgs with disgust before i blurted a fake apology like the one rahim tamby chick gave the underaged chicks family, after getting caught doing the wild thing with her on a public beach at midnight. The dogs released us soon after dawn when their shift finished before they went home to screw their sleeping wives.

Walking back from the doghouse at dawn i sensed the resentment in my friends' eyes about how i had got them in trouble that nite, but i reminded them that ... like us, this victimisation of the innocent had happend so many times and is probably still happening as we speak .. to millions of m'sian all across the country .... it is now time for us to fight back. Lets take our country back from these dawgs. Although the event that happened that nite was such a small gesture to symbolise freedom and justice ... compared to DSAI's 6 year sentence, i will always cherish the moment when we took a stand to fight back and to take back our country back from the evil and deceit. I now smile when people ask me what my contribution to justice was. One small step for us ... is one giant leap for mankind. God Bless.