Sad MF

This morning i had a quarrel with brit co-worker about some code that i've changed. You see this git started work fir the company about 2 weeks before i had and on the first week he demonstrated very good manners around me, seriously questioning my views on how only wankers leave england to work as techies out here. After about a year here, he was made into a project lead for a team that was to work on a new product based on winCE. He was exceptionaly good at talking, like all wankers do and using his vocabulary right when explaining things to the manager. They thought he had potential and promoted him. Good thing i don't work under him.

But this morning, my team lead who also is in the i-hate-brit-wanker boat found some irregularities with our code that disregarded the changes he had made and wrote an email to dicko about these changes thinking that dick was the one who had made them changes. This mail got cc'd to the software manager and dicko was so annoyed that he came around and told me off for not telling him that i made the changes. Yes I forgot that he does work on the code too, but i wouldn't have told him anyways. wankers deserve to work in ivory towers and not with society. I raised my voice to him in the office and told that yes i did make them changes only because a legacy code didn't work and i did not want to waste time editing it. And that it was my domain and any code that was there was my responsibility and not him. Also that i've been kept out of the loop on whose doing what. I said all this loudly and in public. He just argued and told me that regardless i needed to inform people of my changes. After that session, all the managers just laughed and encouraged me to tell this git off as they probably didn't like him as well.

The last time i saw him he had a capital "L" on his forehead.

Isn't it ironic?

One of my office mates threw a party for his young wife yesterday, to celebrate her new promotion as manager. I came quite late after spending eternity trying to get parking in the area. It was the weekend and office mate's house was right in the city, where parking near impossible. When i got there, the front door was wide open so i casually walked in where i was greeted by office mate and a warm peck by his teenage looking wife. She looks 20 although my friend tells me she 27. Some chicks look really young i've noticed, barely legal. But for now, i'm into more matured ladies. Looking around me I found that a room full of people i hardly know. Some of them work with me, but another 70% i don't recognize. Must be teenage wife's friends i reckon.

Office mate did quite a job in organizing everything. Right down to the fine selection wines servered. Pity i don't drink, but the food was of exceptional quality and confensated me well for not being able to drink. So I grabbed a pine tart and a glass of fruit water to drink before i joined in talking with the software manager who was discussing the finer points of his next holidays to australia. The sheila's are finner down there according to manager. I wouldn't know, the last i was in aussie was during a connecting flight at the airport in a room full of kiwis on transit. I remembered the security being really tight and that i had to take of my shoes going through the metal detector. A lady on my flight got body searched as one of the officers noticed her adjusting her heavy bra and thought she was hiding something. I mean for god's sakes ....

Then suddenly i felt a soft nudge on my arm and it turned to see office mate who wanted me over where he stood with the wife to introduce me to a friend of theirs who lived near where i now live. To my delight, the introduction was to this cute chick who I had been eyeing on since the beginning of the evening. She was a brunette dressed in a body hugging sleeveless top with a large opening showing off her fine cleavage. She had on thin cream coloured pants that showed her rear bum that came off the g-string she wore that nite. Sweet as. She was an aussie but had lived here for the last 6 years. The fact that she was older didn't seemto matter as her tanned skin glowed radiantly like the hot chicks you see on adam n eve softp0rn flicks, that u can't believe would get down with getting naked on camera. She looked hot and lived just a couple km away from my place. And we were having such a fantastic first conversation -- I was putting on all my charms and everything -- until the following topic came up:

fade : so how do u know office mate?

hot chick : we worked together for a year in a company downtown a couple of years ago.

fade : Oh, so that company from his last job? The one that deals with telephones?

hot chick : Oh, no the company after that. They dealt with accounting software for electric companies.

fade : Oh, ok.

hot chick : but we stayed in contact .... and my husband is good friend of his as well...

fade : [crap]

Just then, the actual husband showed up. I was obviously too flustered to hear anything else he said after that and slowly excused myself away. Is it ironic? Don't you think?

What do you think of my chat up line below?
I have seen some beautiful things in this world. Mountain tops with snow, rainfall landing on a lake. I've seen rainbows come and go, after a long cool rain. Many of orange sunsets, from a window seat of an antique train. A waterfall in a clear lake, the vines growing at their delight. Never knowing the difference, Between the dark and night. Footsteps in the sand, I have made a few. Of all the earth's beautiful things, None have a beauty such as YOU.

Fun in the Sun

The weekend was a rather eventfully period for me. My lusty blonde neighbor made love to her husband on her front deck at 2pm in the afternoon and i had front row seats from my upstairs bedroom window again. At first the day looked a bit cloudy in the morning, but by 1pm the clouds disappeared as the sun came up strong probably for the very few last times before summer ended. My neighbor is a good looking woman about 37ish with a great bum with a lovely set of shaped legs that she like'd showing off in the summer. She'd always wear her string bikini in the lawn and once in a while she'd go topless when the neighbor's weren't looking. Most of the time she didn't care. I know they'd been a few complains about her voyeuristic behaviours in the past. But i always greeted her with a smile everytime we met out the garage.

On that sunny afternoon, my blonde neighbor started off basking in her string bikini for about 30mins when her husband joined her on the deck in his pair of shorts. They were basking and talking for about 15 minutes when they started kissing and rubbing each other. By then I was already sat in my room upstairs with a window that overlooks her deck. I was careful not to lean to close to the window as the first couple of mins, my blonde neighbor with killer buns kept on looking around the area making sure that nobody was in sight. And there i was with a bag of chips in my hands just giving scores to the action below.

After a couple mins of snogging, the husband pulls out her boobs from the side of her bikini top and starts rubbing them gently, heavy on the nips. He later pulls her bikini bottoms to the sides n pokes in the salami while she grips him around the back and wraps her legs around him. She didn't make a sound as she had her eyes closed all the way. They were probably at it for 10mins before the jerking stopped and they pulled up their clothes again to continue basking in the sun as if nothing had happened talking and laughing the afternoon away. Next time I'll be ready with my digital camcorder and maybe post their pics on my blog eh?

Work that Booty, Girl

Like the tunes from a sassy rump shaker that shakes the room, my good old KL days were still fresh in my head. Yeah it was difficult with the traffic, the insanity of work and the crazed expectations of a materialistic and opinionistic society. But the good times were something else. Through it all, I still think of all the laughter, the escapades, the dollars and even the pimping that makes it all worth it living in the city of sin. I remember those days well and everytime i think of them, i would always creep a smile and a satisfactory grunt, like an able lover finaly arriving after 40mins of 'pump n grind'. Every dawg has his day. And those were mine. I did so many things, met so many people and learned so many lessons like a dawg unleased and learning new tricks. All into an unforgetable, mind-blowing and exhilarating experience that i would cherish and carry with me for the rest of my days. whose ur daddy?

Its all sweet. The times that I worked in KL doesn't sound all that distant away in fact, as its only been a good couple of years ago that i left KL to make heeds in this colourfull land beneath the clouds. On the dark side, i have to admit that the aura of change into my current life had somewhat turned me into a heartless ogre that works his hours straight for 2 months without a holiday. Over here, on most mornings i'd be up by 6 and in the office by 7. I shake work my arse hard till about 7 and have a ciggie before i leave on most evenings. You know what they say ..... that 1 smoke a day keeps the doctors away. Now how sad is this? At this rate ..... i'm destined to blow my life away pimping my arse to the paycheck so that i can pay the mortgage and maybe a sweet annal anual holiday in KL. Will I have then trully lived my life, if I suddenly died tomorrow? No can do. I can live like this for a couple of years, but not forever. The KL in me will bring me home, sooner or later i'm sure.

Sitting in my cubicle and in no mood to do any real work, my mind wonders off into obliviant and my happier times in KL. Memories came back of how full my life was back then. Full of life, full of friends and full of rewards as they come. I had a life then and i loved it. I know now why old people like reminicing about their forgotten youth. Im not that old, but I can almost see myself remenicing like them about how life was once good for me.

Remembering my old days in KL always made me smile. Back then, I lived in a rented house at the edge of town somewhere, shadowed by the beconing city lights and burnt by the excitement that she offers me after all her other dwellers fall asleep. The mornings would start at about 6 and i would strip naked in front of the mirror in the bedroom to look at my naked body for a couple of minutes before anything. They say looking at your body in the mornings, freshens up the mind for the day. I would then crunch up and do some press-ups and sit-ups to stay in shape and sweat a little before i get into the shower. Can't remember when i lost those teenage abs i had in my youth days. Its long gone now. But im still in pretty good shape now i reckoned. In the shower, my body feels great under the cold stream of jet water that washes while it wakes my body up. As i come out of the shower, I grab that towel and wipe myself dry before making my way back into the bedroom where my clothes hang off the closet door fro mthe night before. I look at my naked body and notice goose-bumps all over my back and bum. I shake with subtle disbelief as I slip on my boxers and office clothes for the day grabbing a box of smokes on the way out of the bedroom. I usually don't eat anything at all at home, as theres usually nothing to eat. So i grab my notebook and jump into the car.

By 10 mins I was already on the LDP, swerving my way through traffic for a 20 min drive to my company reserved parking lot in the Uptown Towers 3 basement car park. As i drive up the one way d'sara uptown alley road, I get a glimpse of the sleepy people just waking up to start their busy days. Men and women in office clothes walking the uptown sidewalks while restaurant workers are cleaning their dishes still half asleep most of them. As i near my parking, i see some PJ chicks in their sexy hot shorts with visible thong lines making their way to fitness first, still not awake yet by the looks on their faces. They say oral sex is the best way to wake you up. A virgin like me almost wouldn't know this.

I park gracefully on my lot and start making my way to the nearby offices, lighting up a smoke for the 5 min walk. As i finish my smoke, i decide to run it up the staircase so that my heart gets jolted with random excersice every chance i get. If the smoke won't kill me, then the stairs will. As i walk through the main offce door, i smile to the 5 girls who've got their tables lined up againts the neat walls. I say hello to them and they know my warm greets were truly genuine n from the heart, against much of the office politics, backstabbing, backbitting, kniving KL work culture.

I spend another 30 mins flirting with the 4 unmarried ladies asking them out and making sure they feel like princesses getting bathed in milk and rubbed with cocunut oil, the way girls should be pampered. They know i'm true when i say it like i mean it. They loved every minute of it i could tell. The married chick was a bit more challenging and need more aggressive menuveres to please before she smiles back. She likes my comments about how hot she looks in her tight minis, and how in a bikini she could blow any 18yo chick out of water. In a political standoff in the office, these 5 women on your side would make all the difference in the world. Psyching myself up, i walk up to the boss' room and say hi to him. Man ... of all the ordained formalities and i had to have one with that loser. Coming out of his office, i signal to the boys and we leave for a 1 hour morning teh-tarik/roti canai session cum office politics discussion forum at the mamak's stall just 100 meters down the road.

What an awesome life i led. I wonder if I could pull it off again ... just once more.

I'm Having Chicken Tonight

This last weekend wasn't a good one by my standards without a doubt. It was a weekend that saw me stay in bed most of the day like an old LA bum on crack and a craving for half a bottle of duty-free russian smirnoff. By the end of my lazy weekend I, felt shortchanged and cheated by the passing summertime as it made way for chilly Autumn where the parks were once again empty and the young women who run there no longer show off they're perfectly carved legs underneath the thongs they call shorts. In the 2 days that i've been in bed with a tummy ache and throbbing headache, summer had ended and Autumn while arrived. I looked around me with utter astonishment and shook my head in disbelief that a weekend in bed could last an entire summer time.

My weekend fiasco started when I went for dinner on Fri nite at Nandos. I had heard stories from Mom that Nandos was the only fast food joint here that did legit halal food. That or the new krosher place down the road where everybody would be saying "Shalom" to you the minute you walked in. Nandos would be a better pick, by default. Its been a while since I went out for a good meal at a fast food joint, and Nandos being South African had a reputation of serving fine chicken breast, at a wholemeal price. I was thrilled as i walked through the french doors at the restaurant's entrance. The place looked calm but fresh as the low intense lighting that reflected off the unevenly decored walls made me think of nothing except the tender flesh of chicken meat and how much i wanted them that nite. Even the cleavage bearing blondes at the table on the right couldn't get my mind off chicken that nite. By god i'll have chicken if its the last thing i do this evening.

Entering the place, I quickly scanned around for a sombre but lucid corner of the restaurant to be seated at. Far across the room, at the corner end of the mess my eyes caught a low illuminatedly lighted table that was far enough from the other dinners to savour some eating privacy but close enough for me to wave my orders through to the waiters standing around with a rather large looking menu booklet. As i made my way through the restaurant's thick carpets to table at the far end of the room, i couldn't help noticing the 3 pretty blondes sitting at the table next to the entrance. One of them wore a rather low cut top that had her bare nips erected through the thin top, making it really obvious for the other dinners to enjoy notice. I smiled as I walked past her, trying to avert my sights on the dish she was offering. I came here for chicken, and chicken is all i'm having eh.

"Friday nite is the nite, keep your frequency clear" blurred the song from the radio as I kept my head in place and sat my bum down to order. I drew my right hand up and made a circular motion to the fit waitress to order. The waitress smiled back, and made her way towards me with a menu in her hands. From this distance, the blonde petite looking waitress in her short minis with black stockings looked like kylie minougue in one of her music videos. The waitress had long but kept blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. The type of notty good looks that you normally see in swedish p0rn flicks, having some outdoor action with Bjorn and Inga behind the barn.

"Good day sir, may I take you order please?" asked the shy waitress with a warm smile.

"I'll have your tastiest chicken with some southern gravy .. like they do in lousiana. Make that with fries, honey." I spoke out like a hungry vegan.

"I'm sorry sir, but we only do chicken, south african style here ... if you want lousiana chicken you need to go to Southern Flame .. just up the road from here." she frantically pointed out.

"Heck just gimme some quater chicken and some chips then" I said in a desperate attempt to convince her I wasn't flirting crazy.

"Coming right up in 10 minutes sir" she said with a smile before disappearing back into the kitchen leaving behind a trail of sweet scents that my nostrils immediately pick up on. Lovely girl, smells nice too. Sweet. Whaddaa.

10 mins later my order arrived and i instantly started on the fleshy white chicken, washing it down with diet coke every now and then. I couldn't remember legit chicken ever tasting that good. Now I don't know what it is about this chicken, but the minute I downed its breasts in a tight bun, my stomach began its uneasiness. It wasn't a normal tummy ache, but I felt really queasy and uneasy, sort of like being in a car up cameron highlands. Real motion sickness of that proportion. Initially I thought it was food poisining, i hadn't shown the normal symptoms. I finished my food and called for kylie to the bill. Like a model on a catwalk for fresh lingerie, kylie walks the walk in her short minis and black stockings over to me with the bill. I paid miss 'Locomotion' and left for home with a sick chicken in my tummy, and a weekend in bed. Hope you had a better weekend.

A bug in my Pants

We are well beyond the delivery date and there is a bug in my system. The problem seemed to have gone unnoticed as we developers don't normal run test harnests to jive the application's run to perfection. I would think that the test team was responsible for running any imaginable tests on the application that I built. But to have users complain at this late stage goes to show that heavy drill tests have not been carried on my app by the test team. No matter how much they claim to be doing their job ... they missed some grounds for sure. The pre-release users found 2 bugs with it late last week when they tested it on a drive run on some parts of spain and italy. We have until today, been unable to reproduce one of them. The other one had been assigned to me for which I had already fixed as of now. Next thing to do is to test it my self on a drive run when I go home today. Who knows, besides fixing this small bug i might even uncover other big ones. But its all just small bugs that needs to be tended to like a lover on valentines day no doubt.

Having tested my fix, I found that the application now behaves quite well and needs a few minor tweaks before I can close the PT on it. While testing my fix, I found another rather interesting problem that could explain my 1st bug and ultimately help deliver the software to the EU market right on time. On my test run, I enabled the Simulator checkbox in the preferences menu to get the device running in the simulator mode. But the checkbox value doesn't hold when i try to save it to the config.ini file on the /My Flash Disk directory. Checking up on it, I found that the checkbox value had defaulted to off and that the config.ini file and the /My Flash Disk on where it sits had disappeared.

The winCE micro kernel thats causing the /My Flash Disk dir to disappear comes from a HK company and its really typical of asian companies to produce such flaky software. Crap. On resetting the device, the kernel is rebuilt and you can see the /My Flash Disk dir and the config.ini file again. This is why we don't buy from asia. They give us such crappy software. The disappearing directory and config.ini file also explains why the turn-off-to-power-save settings in the preferences also defaulted to being checked and why the routing occasionally stalls the application.

While in the routing loop, a mysterious callback returns with a TIMER event that saves preferences onto the config.ini file. So if the file and the directory that it lives on goes missing, then of course writing to this file would return a FALSE and take some delay time when it tries to open non-existing file. Benefits of CE handling file IO. Just imagine the accumulated time delays when this save setting function is called a couple of times a second in a route. I think I have just solved my major bug. I'll just wait for a bug meeting on the product to highlight these issues and gain recognition and company fame. Why am I smiling as I write this?

The 6 things I want to do before I go ....

1. Swim naked with the dolphins
2. Buy a house by lake Taupo and watch sunset by my pool
3. Finish off the software i'm writing and get paid $4 mil for it

4. Say "No" when Kate Beckinsale asks me out on a date wearing only thong pyjamas
5. Buy my own pacific island and turn it into a playboy mansion in the pacifics
6. Ask god for forgiveness for all my mortal sins.

Sold to the slick Gentleman on my right for 400 dolalrs

After months of real estate-agent-bickering and property magazine-page-flipping, i finally bought a house. Its not a big awesome 3 bedroom cheddar house with pine floors or anything expensive as i had initially planned to splash out on. But a cheap 1st home type of house that would probably be put out for rent once the paper work is finalized this week. The house is a 1930s 2 bedroom 1 bathroom character home, with 2 sun-decks sizing at 190sqm and shares the back-end wall with the neighbor's house but facing opposite directions. This makes it a semi-d type of house for that matter. But at the price i'm paying, its a real bargain. You don't get to see the neighbor at any time, unless u climb out the back n jump over the side fence. Its got its own driveway and a couple of shady infant trees to give it that country look. The hall is pretty big and adjoins the kitchen with a complimentary glasstop cooker. I reckon that if all goes as planned, the rent on this place would pay for it self. All blues and nothing to loose.

When i went up there to view the property initially, i was told that the previous owner was thai and that his son was staying there so the agent had to ask for permission to process on to entering the house to view it. On entering the newly carpeted and painted house, i saw 3 thai looking dudes sitting on the deck while drinking some thai homebrew navathippai whiskey.

Made me think i was in Patpong downtown bangkok. Typical of thais getting pissed on a sat nite with a deck of cards. I smiled at them as i entered their house with the agent.

While in deep conversation with the agent, suddenly a cop car pulled up onto the driveway and asked for some dude with a thai name. Geeweez. The agent said that he was selling the house for the dudes dad and that the dude didn't live here though his friends were sitting out on the deck.

Looking at me with an evil eye the cops then asked if i was the dude's dad that he was selling house for. Agent gave them a negative and they went to have a word with the 3 thai tamngans on the other side of the house.

Damn i don't look thai enuf .. what a piss take! Just like a scene off Bad Boys the cop story eh?

The masterbedroom was of a twin size with a walk-in wardrobe. Although the walls were recently painted and the carpets were new, you could tell that the house had a long history. But thats why they're called character homes i reckon. The driveway looked alright with some lawn behind it where the clothes line was. Its looking good for an investment, but i don't think i'd want to live here for now. There is a soccer field and a swimming pool just 200 yards from the house and a corner shop in the opposite direction at about the same distance. Alls well ends well.

After signing all the necessary paperwork to forge the deal forward, I drove home in my honda accord thinking whether it was the right move to spend all this money on a property thats 5000miles away from home. Images of what this kind of money could buy me at home kept flashing in my mind .... i kept thinking that the exchange rate was now at 2.9 and still rising due to the declining USD. Man .. it was a tough call. Just like everything else is in life is a tough call, but i believe in taking a chance on ur gut feeling. After all, the last 2 years of my life had been about taking chances on my gut feelings. So why should this be any different eh? Right now my gut feeling tells me that this is a right move and that the market will bounce back in the next 6 months to appreciate the value of this property. D for Dawg.